My name is Turkish.
Funny name for an Englishman, I know.
My parents were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met.
They named me after the plane.
Not many people are named after a plane crash.
That's Tommy.
He tells people he was named after a gun.
But I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.
Known him for as long as I can remember. He's my partner.
Doesn't mean we hold hands or take walks.
It means I try to keep him out of as much trouble as he inflicts on me.
I give him a hard time. Keeps him in check.
But really, he's like my brother.
What do I know about diamonds? I'm a boxing promoter.
I was a happy boxing promoter until a week ago, and then:
What do I know about diamonds?
Don't they come from Antwerp?
-Himy, would you listen to this? -Do we have a choice?
It wasn't meant to be taken literally.
It's a nice story, Adam and Eve.
It's bound with moral fibre...
...but asking a grown man to believe it?
What is it?
Well, what is it?
What you want I should do, drop my pants?
Okay, go through.
It's a nice story.
It'sjust that. Just a story.
Catholic religion is based on a mistranslation.
Enough already. Ruben, say something.
Listen. Are you busy? I'll tell you the whole story.
The Septuagint scholars mistranslated the Hebrew word for ''young woman''...
...into the Greek word for ''virgin. ''
It was an easy mistake to make...
...because there was only a subtle difference in the spelling.
So, they came up with a prophecy:
''Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear us a son. ''
You understand? It was ''virgin'' that caught people's attention.
It's not everyday a virgin conceives and bears a son.
But leave that for a couple ofhundred years to stew...
...and next thing you know you have the Holy Catholic Church.
Oy vay, what are you saying?
I'm saying, just because it's written...
...doesn't make it so.
Gives them hope. It's not important whether it's fact or fiction.
-People like to believe. -I don't want to hear anymore.
Anyway, who is it that we're seeing?
-Michael. -Hello?
Mutti.
Rudy! Rud, Rud, let them in, please.
Rud, it's okay, let them through.
-Michael. -Mutti.
You've kept us waiting for half an hour. Are you trying to give me heartburn?
Lie down on the floor.
Get on the floor!
Lie on the floor!
Get on the fucking floor!
-Get down! -Get fucking down!
Down on the floor! Get down!
On the ground!
Get down, l say!
-Time. -Seven minutes!
Where is the stone?
Michael, where is the stone?
When does your plane leave?
Twenty minutes.
Give me your gun.
When you get to London...
...if you want a gun...
...call this number.
-Boris. -Boris.
He can get you anything you need.
ls he allowed to do that?
lt's an unlicensed boxing match. lt's not a tickling competition.
These lads are out to hurt each other.
What's with those sausages, Charlie?
Two minutes, Turkish.
Look at it. How am l supposed to run this thing from that?
We'll need a proper office.
l want a new one. You're going to buy it for me.
Why me?
Well, you know about caravans.
How's that?
You spent a summer in one. Which means you know more than me.
And l don't want to have me pants pulled down over the price.
What's wrong with this one?
Oh, nothing, Tommy.
lt's tiptop.
l'm just not sure about the colour.
lt's all arranged. You just got to pick it up.
Here's an address.
lt's a campsite.
You've got 10 grand, and it would be nice to see change.
-What's happening with them sausages? -Five minutes.
lt was two minutes five minutes ago.
They ain't pikeys, are they?
l fucking hate pikeys.
You're a sensitive boy, Tommy.
Fuck me. Hold tight.
-What's that? -lt's me belt.
No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers.
-What's a gun doing in your trousers? -lt's for protection.
Protection from what?
''Zee'' Germans?
What's to stop it blowing your bollocks off when you sit?
-Where did you get it? -Boris The Blade.
You mean Boris the sneaky, fucking Russian.
Heavy, isn't it?
Heavy is good.
Heavy is reliable.
lf it doesn't work, you can always hit him with it.
Boris The Blade, or Boris The Bullet-Dodger.
Bent as the Soviet sickle and hard as the hammer that crosses it.
Apparently, it'sjust impossible to kill the bastard.
Back to my partner, Tommy.
Tommy runs the other business...
...the slot machines...
...which keeps rain off our heads and gloves on Gorgeous' hands.
However, Tommy's a little preoccupied with protection at present.
All right, l'll take it.
There's a reason for Tommy's newfound enthusiasm for firearms.
Sooner or later, in unlicensed boxing, you have to deal with that reason:
Brick Top.
lf that's not worth a bet, l don't know what is.
-He doesn't look bad, does he? -No, he looks great.
He'll do you proud.
You reckon that's what people should do for me, Gary? Do me proud?
lt's what you deserve.
Pull your tongue out of my arsehole.
Dogs do that.
You're not a dog, are you?
No. No, l'm not.
However...
...you do have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary.
All except loyalty.
It's rumoured that his favourite means of dispatch involves a stun gun...
...a plastic bag, a roll of tape and a pack ofhungry pigs.
You're a ruthless little cunt, Liam. l'll give you that.
But l got no time for grouses.
Feed him to the pigs, Errol.
What the fuck are you two looking at?
Ifyou got to deal with him, just make sure you don't end up owing him.
Then you're in his debt.
Which means, you're in his pocket.
And once you're in that, you ain't ever coming out.
l hear he's a good fighter, so l'll use him.
l'll be doing you a favour, boy.
What he means is, I'm doing him a favour.
Because everybody knows nobody takes a dive in my fights. Unlike his.
Here, Errol, l don't think he likes me.
You don't like me, do you?
Don't know what you mean.
I do know I can't wait to get out ofhere. It stinks.
My fights finish prompt so we can get out before the authorities find out.
Play your cards right and l'll sort you out.
You can sort me out by showing me out.
It's hard to make a living in boxing, so now and then...
...you do something against your principles.
Basically, you have to forget you got any.
Are they Lancashire pigs?
Who's talking to you?
Oh, yeah, Tommy. Brick Top loves Tommy.
Don't let me down.
You don't want to let me down, do you?
See you ringside.
Boris, Franky-fucking-Four Fingers...
...has a diamond the size of a fist.
l have told you it's in the briefcase connected to his arm.
l sent him to you to buy a gun.
What more do you want me to do, hit him for you?
But don't you hit him either.
Americans can't know it was Russian.
lt will come back to me.
You're my brother, so think like it.
Get somebody else to steal that stone!
l don't want it getting back to me.
And don't have him killed. lt will raise suspicion.
So don't use idiots for the job.
He'll stay in London a couple of days before he goes to New York...
...so move quick. Okay?
One more thing.
lt might help.
He loves to gamble.
Eighty-six carats?
Brilliant cut, beautiful make.
A beautiful stone.
You're a good boy, Franky.
And you did a real good job. Now when do you get back?
l got to move the two-grainers here, get a better price. Couple of days.
-Talk to my cousin Dougie. -Doug The Head?
And Franky....
-And what? -Stay out of those casinos.
You did a goodjob, bubbe.
-Don't go screwing it up, all right? -I hear you, Avi.
l'll see you, Avi.
Eighty-six carats.
-Where? -London.
-London? -London.
-London? -Yes, London.
You know, fish, chips, cup of tea...
...bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins. London!
Not for me.
That's Doug The Head. Everybody knows Doug The Head.
If it's stones and it's stolen, he's the man to speak to.
Pretends he's Jewish.
Wishes he was Jewish.
Even tells his family they're Jewish...
...but he's about as Jewish as he is a fucking monkey.
He thinks it's good for business. And in the diamond business...
-...it is good for business. -Avi!
He'll be there today. Take care of him.
Avi, you know l won't buy schtrops.
He isn't selling schtrops. Make it smaller.
Who do you take me for? This is England.
We play by the rules.
Listen to me.
lf the stones are kosher, then l'll buy them, won't l?
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's my lunchtime. Bye.
What are you doing here?
lt's a free country, isn't it?
Well, it ain't a free shop, is it?
So fuck off.
l want to see you two girls up in my office.
l had cousin Avi on the phone.
-You got to go see him. -Yeah, Dad. You told us.
-He's a big mucker in New York. -Yeah, Dad. You told us.
l want to see you girls up in my office.
Yeah, Dad. You told us.
The weight is sign of reliability.
l always go for reliability.
l'll take it.
How much do you want for it?
Nothing.
Okay, so what do you want for it?
l want you to do something for me.
There is a fight in couple of days.
What kind of a fight?
Unlicensed boxing.
There is a bookies l know that will take bets.
lf you place one down for me...
...we will call it quits.
-Why don't you put it down yourself? -Well...
...there is not too many bookies that takes those kind of bets.
And l already have an outstanding debt with the house.
l know something most don't.
So, nu?
What do you know?
lt's a campsite. A pikey campsite.
-Ten points. -What are we doing here?
-We're buying a caravan. -Off a pack of fucking pikeys?
What's wrong with you? This will get messy.
Not if you're here.
Oh, you bastard.
l fucking hate pikeys.
That's a flash car, mister.
Not as flash as your bike.
Who are you looking for?
Mr. O'Neil.
-Want me to get him? -That's a good lad.
Piss off.
-Are you going to go get him for me? -Yeah.
-What are you waiting for? -The five quid you'll pay me.
Fuck off, l'll find him meself.
-Two fifty. -You can have a quid.
You're a real tight fucker.
There was a problem with gypsies.
What're you doing? Get out of the way, man.
You can't understand what's being said.
You Tommy? Come about the caravan?
-Mr. O'Neil. -Fuck, man. Call me Mickey.
Not Irish, not English.
-How are you? -Weather's been kind.
It'sjust Pikey.
Would you look at the size of him?
How big are you?
-Kids, how big is he? -Big, for sure.
Hey, Mam, come and look at the size of this fella.
Bet you box a little, can't you, sir? You look like a boxer.
Get out of the way. See if they'd like a drink.
l could murder one.
Be no murdering done around here, l don't mind telling you.
Get your hands out of there.
Cup of tea for the big fella?
Don't be silly, Mickey. Offer the man a proper drink.
You little bugger.
-ls the big fella not coming with us? -He's minding the car.
-What does he think we are, thieves? -No, nothing like that.
-He just likes looking after cars. -Good dags. Do you like dags?
-Dags? -What?
-Yeah, dags. -Dags. You like dags?
Oh, dogs.
Sure, l like dags.
-l like caravans more. -You're very welcome.
Pikeys are well-known for their skills ofnegotiation in business.
It's probably why they talk like that...
...so you can't follow what's being said.
But if Tommy can get the caravan for less than the price asked...
...on his return there will be ice cream.
Good dog, good family.
He'll get a little homesick, but he'll get over it.
See you later, lads. See you, boss.
All right, Mickey. Laters.
l don't see what the fuss is about.
They aren't bad fellas.
The deal was, you bought it how you saw it.
Look, l've helped you as much as l'm going to help you.
See that car? Use it.
You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you.
Nobody brings you...
...unless they're trying to say something without talking.
Just give our money back and you can keep your caravan.
Why do l want a caravan that's got no wheels?
-You want to settle this with a fight? -Over my dead body.
Now, go on! Go on!
l'll not have you fighting! You know what happens when you fight!
Get her to sit down.
For fuck's sake!
Want the money? l ain't fucked you.
l'll fight you for it. You and me.
So that's the kind of fight it'll be.
You want to stay down.
You want to stay down!
Get back down and fucking stay down.
l promise you, you want to stay down.
Deadly kick for a fat fucker, you know that?
Cheeky bastard.
-Okay, lads. -Get him on his feet.
Get back down...
...or you will not be coming up next time.
Bollocks to you.
This is sick. l'm out of here.
You're not going anywhere, you thick lump.
You stay until the job's done.
It turned out that the sweet-talking, tattoo-sporting pikey...
...was a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion.
Which makes him harder than a coffin nail.
Right now that's the last thing on Tommy's mind.
If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes...
...Tommy knows he'll be buried with him.
Why would the gypsies want to explain...
...why a man died in their campsite?
Not when they can bury the pair of them andjust move camp.
It's not like they got social security numbers, is it?
Tommy, ''The Tit''...
...is praying.
And ifhe isn't...
...he fucking should be.
Bad Boy.
-Sol. -Easy.
No, it's a moissanite.
A what?
A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln.
lt's Mickey Mouse.
Spurious.
Not genuine.
And it's worth...
...fuck-all.
Bad Boy, l keep telling you, stick to being a gangster.
Leave this game to me and Sol.
Laters.
What is that, Vince?
This is a dog, Sol.
You are not bringing that thing in here.
lt's only a fucking dog.
-Where'd you get it? -The gyppos.
Here.
They threw it in with the moody gold.
You know gyppos, Sol. They're always throwing dogs in with deals.
lt better not be dangerous.
What do you think you're doing now?
l want him to get used to the shop, don't l?
Stop the dog!
Come back!
All right, Boris?
-Don't worry about the dog. -l'm not.
What can l do for you?
l have a job for you.
l already have a job.
Fifty grand for half a day's work.
Go on.
l want you to hold up a bookies.
From Russia with love, eh?
l have stones to sell...
...fat to chew and many men to see about many ducks...
...so if l am not rushing you....
Slow down, Franky, my son. When in Rome.
l am not in Rome, Doug.
l am in a rush.
l got to make the bookies.
Bookies?
-What are you betting on? -Bomber Harris.
The unlicensed boxer?
Do you know something that l don't?
Bubbe, l probably know a lot you don't.
He's bad to the bone, ain't you, Tyrone?
Of course l am.
Tyrone'll drive for us. He's done a rally driving course.
Of course l have.
l don't want that dog dribbling on my seats.
Your seats?
Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.
While l'm at the wheel, it's my car...
...so stop that dog dribbling on my seats. All right?
l can't believe you found it. Where'd it go?
lt went back to the gyppos.
Shut up. And how could it find them?
Well, l don't know. l'm not a dog, Sol.
Ask him.
lt's like he's a fucking homing beacon.
Steady on the brakes.
l thought you said he could drive, Sol.
Don't worry about me. Just worry about that dog on my seats.
All right?
What?
You said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from?
Don't worry about Tyrone. He can move when he has to.
Worry about getting us a gun.
What's that?
This is a shotgun, Sol.
lt's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.
-l want to raise pulses, don't l? -You'll raise hell, never mind pulses.
That does not look like a bookies.
Why'd we stop here? What's the matter with that space over there?
lt's too tight.
Too tight?
You could land a jumbo-fucking-jet in there.
Leave him alone. He's a natural. Ain't you, Tyrone?
Of course l am.
A natural fucking idiot. Tyrone, what've you done?
Yeah, Tyrone, what have you done?
Look, you hassle me, you see what happens.
lt's all right. No, don't move it now.
People'll see the damage. Why'd you do that?
l didn't see it.
lt's a four-ton truck. lt's not like it's a packet of fucking peanuts.
lt was at a funny angle.
lt's behind you, Tyrone.
Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you.
Control that dog as well.
-Get that dog off him. -Get it off me.
Give me that squeaky toy. lt shut him up last time.
Don't snatch.
He can't swallow the whole ball.
Yeah.
Why the fuck...
...did you put Gorgeous George...
...into a bare-knuckle boxing match...
...two days before he had to fight The Bomber?
He was half his size. l didn't expect him to get hurt.
You put the man into a bare-knuckle boxing match.
What the fuck did you expect?
A grease-down and a shiatsu?
Who took the jam out of your doughnut?
You took the fucking jam out of my doughnut.
You did.
You said get a good deal.
l fail to recognize the correlation...
...between losing 10 grand, hospitalizing Gorgeous...
...and a good deal.
How'll we explain this to Brick Top?
That his fight won't happen?
We replace the fighter.
Oh, and hope he doesn't notice?
Who the fuck will we replace him with?
What about John The Gun?
Or Mad Fist Willy?
You're not Mr. Current Affairs, are you?
Mad Fist went mad...
...and The Gun shot himself.
Jesus.
What?
Let's use the fucking pikey.
-How much you gonna pay us? -10 K.
Me bollocks. Lose more than that running for the bus.
All right.
l'll do it for a caravan.
A what?
A caravan.
-Top of the range and all that. -lt was us that wanted a caravan.
Anyway, what's wrong with this one?
lt's not for me. lt's for me ma.
Your what?
His ma.
Brick Top runs an illegal bookies.
They take bets on anything that involves blood and pain.
Now I'm changing fighters...
...and Brick Top's gonna exploit the situation.
He's gonna pull my pants down, grease me up...
...and aim for penetration.
IfI didn't have the replacement pikey...
...he'd want to split me in half.
They could charm the paint off walls, these fellas.
Look mean now, you hairy fucker, won't you?
Shits himself when you put him in the ring.
Poke him with a stick, you watch his bollocks grow.
Do you like a dog fight, Turkish?
We've lost Gorgeous George.
You're gonna have to repeat that.
We've lost Gorgeous George.
Well, where'd you lose him?
He ain't a set of fucking car keys, is he?
And it's not as if he's incon-fucking-spicuous, is it?
We're not backing out.
You bet your bollocks to a barn dance you're not.
We're changing the fighter.
Oh, fuck me, your lady friend got a voice?
Who are you changing him to, sweetheart?
You won't know him, but he's mustard.
Mustard?
l don't care if he's Muhammad ''l'm Hard'' Bruce Lee...
...you can't change fighters.
-You've still got your fight. -No.
l lose all bets at the bookies. You can't change fighters.
So, no, l don't have my fight, do l, you fucking prat?
You can take bets at the fight.
Put a lead on her, Turkish, before she gets bitten.
Do you want to get bitten, sweetheart?
Make sure your man goes down in the fourth.
You understand me now, don't you, Turkish?
This is the one place I didn't want to be:
In his debt.
Which now means I'm in his pocket.
You're on thin-fucking-ice, my pedigree chums.
And l shall be under it when it breaks.
Now, fuck off.
Doug, where's Franky Four Fingers?
l don't know. l'm not his mother. But l'm seeing him later.
-When later? -He said he wanted cash.
So he's coming back after he's been to a fight.
A fight?
What do you mean, a fight? A boxing match?
-ls there gambling involved? -lt's a boxing match, Avi.
-Did he have a case with him? -Yes, he had a case.
And this schmuck is gambling?
You're talking about Franky ''l've got a problem with gambling'' Four Fingers.
Avi, l'm not telepathic.
You're plenty stupid, l'll give you that.
Do you know why they call him Franky Four Fingers?
l have no idea.
Because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people.
When he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop.
And l'm not talking about his fucking foreskin.
l'm sure he can pay.
Not with my goods. Got a toothbrush? We're going to London.
Do you hear that? l'm coming to London!
-Avi! -Shut up and sit down, you bald fuck!
l don't like leaving my own country...
...especially leaving it for anything less than warm, sandy beaches...
...and cocktails with little straw hats.
We've got sandy beaches.
So who the fuck wants to see them?
l hope you can appreciate the concern l have for my friend Franky.
l'll find him, and you'll help me find him.
And we'll start at that fight.
How am l gonna get it out?
lt will probably cough it up.
Will he be all right?
l hope not.
-Are we gonna rob this bookies? -Yes, big man.
Why are we waiting?
We are waiting for a man with four fingers, carrying a briefcase.
And why's that?
Because the deal is, the Russian gets the case, we get the money.
What's in the case?
For fuck's sake, Tyrone, just concentrate on the steering wheel.
Jesus.
-Private night tonight, chaps. -l'm well aware of that, my son.
That's why we're here.
Well done. This is the back way in.
Oh, really? l thought it was the front.
-Private night tonight, chaps. -We know. That's why we're here.
Tickets.
Are we ever gonna get into this place?
Avi, Avi, you gotta understand.
This ain't exactly Vegas, and this ain't exactly legal.
l'm not looking for Vegas or for legal.
l'm looking for Franky.
l know that, and he said he's gonna be here.
-lf there's gambling, he'll be here. -Let's not have a fuck-up.
You won't let us down.
He's going down in the fourth, don't you worry about that.
ls that him?
l don't know. How many fingers did he have?
Sorry, l didn't get the binoculars out in time.
Let's not stand on ceremony. Let's start the show.
Do you know who this bookies belongs to?
lf you know what's good for you you'll give me everything--
What are you doing?
What does it look like l'm doing up here?
This is starting to hurt, Solomon.
Drop the screen now.
How you doing, Vince?
l'd do a lot better if you'd stop using my name.
-Fill that bag. -All bets are off.
l am not in here to make a fucking bet.
Appreciated...
...but all bets...
...are...
...off.
lf all bets are off, then there can't be any money, can there?
l ain't fucking buying that.
That's handy because l ain't fucking selling it. lt's a fact.
What have you got?
Nothing, really.
A few coins, but no notes.
Show me your hands.
You've got five fingers.
Copper coins.
What do you mean, copper-fucking-coins?
lt won't open because it's a security door.
Hold that.
My leg.
What are you moaning about? lt didn't even touch it.
We're fucked.
What the fuck are you two doing?
Get us out of here.
Tyrone, what are you doing? Get us out of here!
Who the fuck is this man, Tyrone?
He's a man with four fingers and a briefcase, Vinny.
ln the red corner...
...we have the young and unchallenged....
So, Mickey, you're going down in the fourth. ls that clear?
Just make sure he doesn't kill me.
So give it up for the bone-crunching...
...one-punch machine gun...
...Mickey!
And in the other corner....
Now, l know he looks like a fat fucker--
Well, he is a fat fucker, but he's dirty and he's dangerous.
Bomber ''The Mad Man'' Harris!
Now, try and look like a fighter.
Let's get ready...
...to rumble!
Do you realize l'm fucking forty grand down?
What's the fucking crack?
-l'll make it up to you. -l ain't happy.
l'll make it up to you, l promise. Stand on me.
Oh, that fucking pikey's put me in it.
Thanks for the tip, Brick Top.
Listen, you fucking fringe, if l throw a dog a bone...
...l don't want to know if it tastes good.
Stop me again whilst l'm walking and l'll cut your fucking jacobs off.
-He's here. -Well, you explain it to him.
-What you doing? -The case was attached to his arm.
So why didn't you chop it off?
We ain't fucking butchers, Boris.
But he has the case.
Look, we-- Well, you have a problem.
There weren't much cash at the bookies.
Okay.
Here is the 10 grand.
No. Keep it. We want this.
Well, at least half of this.
What was in the case was mine.
What was in the bookies was yours. Okay?
lt wasn't much, but here is the 10 large to help the situation.
No, l'm afraid it's too late for that.
We want half of this, and that's because we're being generous.
We could, by all rights, keep the whole fucking stone, Boris.
Watch out!
Drop the gun, fat boy.
You fucking idiots. He could not know my name.
Give me the stone.
-lt's in the case. -What?
lt's in the case.
You put the stone in the case?
Open it and give me the stone.
The only man who knew the combination, you just shot.
Now, it's not too clever to hang about after Mickey's performance.
Brick Top, in short, will be looking to kill Tommy, Mickey and myself.
I know he's looking for us, but I don't have a choice.
I'm happy to leave the country, but I need money to do so.
But any money I have is in the safe, which is in the office.
Once I have that, it's--
Oink, oink.
Shit.
So that's where you keep the sugar.
What brings you two here? Run out of pants to sniff?
That sounds like hostility, doesn't it?
And we don't like hostility, do we, Errol?
No, we don't, John.
l just had them polished.
Go and put the kettle on.
-You take sugar? -No, thank you, Turkish.
l'm sweet enough.
He's now your problem.
Okay?
You can keep the 10 grand, along with the body...
...but if l see you again, you motherfuckers....
Well, look at him.
l've got a bare-knuckle fight in a couple of days.
l want to use the pikey.
All right. Of course.
Of course, fucking of course.
l wasn't asking, l was telling.
But this time...
...l do want him to go down in the fourth.
And l do mean it, this time.
Now, l know you come back here to open your safe.
So now you can open it.
Turkish has been a busy little bastard.
l think he's got away with enough.
Thinking can get you into trouble, Errol. l shouldn't do so much of it.
That takes care of one little piggy.
Now find me the silly sods who blagged the bookies.
Find them today.
Top of the morning to you, Mrs. O'Neil.
Tommy.
You're a snake in the grass, ain't you? Where'd they come from?
You're looking for my boy, are you?
-Do you know where l can find him? -Yeah.
Would you like to share that information?
l don't want you getting my boy into trouble.
He's my only boy. And he's a good boy.
He's coursing.
What's coursing?
Hare coursing.
They set two lurchers-- They're dogs, before you ask.
On a hare.
And the hare has to outrun the dogs.
So, what if it doesn't?
Well, the big rabbit gets fucked, doesn't it?
Proper fucked?
Yeah, Tommy.
Before ''zee'' Germans get there.
Do you know these tits, Errol?
l know a lot of tits...
...but l don't know any as fucking stupid as these two.
John?
l can't help, guv.
Tyrone.
You silly, fat bastard.
-Do you want to do it? -That depends.
On what?
On you buying this caravan.
Not the rouge one. The rose.
-lt's not the same caravan. -Not the same fight.
lt's twice the size of the last one.
The fight is twice the size. And me ma needs a caravan.
l like to look after me ma. lt's a fair deal. Take it.
You're lucky we aren't worm food after your last performance.
Buying a tart's mobile palace is a little fucking rich.
l wasn't calling your mum a tart. l just meant....
Save your breath for cooling your porridge.
Right. And she's terrible partial to the periwinkle blue.
Have l made myself clear?
Yeah, that's perfectly clear, Mickey.
Just give me one minute to confer with my colleague.
Did you understand a word of what he said?
l'll tell you what.
Fucker.
l'll bet you for it.
You'll what?
He'll bet you for it.
What, like Tommy did last time? Do me a favour?
l'll do you a favour.
You have first bet. lf l win, l get a caravan...
...and the boys get a pair of them shoes.
lf l lose...
...fuck it, l'll do the fight for free.
The last thing I really want to do is bet a pikey.
However, I don't really have much ofa choice.
Somehow I've got to get him to fight, but ifI lose....
Well, I don't even want to think about losing.
Okay. l reckon the hare gets fucked.
What? Proper fucked?
You got that, London?
We're on!
l'll fucking tell you! Get those off me.
l'll tell you who robbed your bookies.
Periwinkle blue. Bye, boys.
Who's proper fucked now, then?
There's something very wrong with this.
lt was us that wanted to buy a caravan off of him.
Well, why didn't you ''bust a cap in his ass'' then, Tommy?
Mind you, you'd do more damage if you threw it at him.
What? You saying l can't shoot?
Oh, no, Tommy. l wasn't saying you can't shoot.
l know you can't shoot.
What we're saying is, that piece of shit stuck in your trousers...
...would do more damage if you fed it to him.
You saying the gun don't work?
You tried it?
Whoops.
l want to see that sneaky fucking Russian.
Why's he got a tea cosy on his head?
To keep his head warm.
-What happened to him? -He got shot in the face.
l thought that was obvious.